FUN CEREMONY TOUCHES & RITUALS
Looking to add a little something something into your ceremony? Below you’ll find a list of small “fun touches” that you can incorporate, and further down a selection of rituals that may add cultural significance or work well for including children into your ceremony.
Witness Raffle
If you’re not too fussed about who your two witnesses for signing are, you can have raffle tickets handed out to guests as they enter the ceremony space, or awaiting them on chairs. Then, when it comes time to head over to the signing table, each of you gets to pull a winning ticket our of a jar and watch your two witnesses jump for joy!
Psst…you can also rig this a little and just have raffle tickets handed out to the front half of the room/placed on chairs in the first few rows, to ensure that your witness is someone very special to you, and not your ex-boss’s plus one who’s standing right up the back.
Under Chair Surprise Witnesses or Ring Bearers
Again, if you’re not too fussed about who your two witnesses for signing are, or who your ring bearer is, you could plant a couple of surprises under chairs, and have the celebrant invite to have a feel under the seat at the right moment to see if they’re the lucky chosen one.
This could be done with scratchy tickets or some kind of congratulatory card for the witnesses, or having the ring box very securely attached to the bottom of a chair right before the ceremony.
Lucky Number? Lucky Guest!
This is another variation on the above for choosing a surprise ring bearer or witness. If the two of you have a lucky number, let’s say the number seven, the seventh guest to arrive at the wedding, or order a drink at the bar upon arrival, can be told by staff that they have just become the secret ring bearer/witness! Have the rings secretly handed over to them to keep safe until the right moment in the ceremony where the celebrant calls them forth, and you’ll have the best surprise when you see this person come running down the aisle.
Personalise your I Dos
Not to be confused with the legal vows (which are strictly worded as “I call upon the persons here present to witness that I…take you…etc”), I dos are not a requirement to the ceremony, but I’ve never done a ceremony without them—because everyone wants to say it!
As a fun twist, provide your celebrant with a secret question that you want the celebrant to ask your partner and they have to say “I do” in response to. So, once they’ve first been asked ‘Do you take Sarah to be your wife?” and said “I do”, they can then be asked something a bit more cheeky. Some examples of things I’ve seen include “Do you promise to help Jane overcome her fear of spiders?”, “Do you promise to relinquish the remote when [show] is on?”, “Do you promise not to steal John’s secret stash of chocolate?”…you get the idea.
You can even have these secret vows in an envelope, which is passed to you in the ceremony and you have to open it and speak whatever your partner has written for you to say inside.
Make guests swear their We Dos
Once you and your partner have said your I Dos, for a fun bit of interaction that gets the whole crowd involved, have your celebrant then turn to the crowd and ask them a series of questions that they must all shout, “We do!” in response to. This could be a mix of serious and silly questions, that build in a series of three. Examples could range from, “Do you promise to always be there for them, through the good times and the bad?”, to “Do you promise to always dog sit when they head overseas on their next adventure?” or even “Do you promise to dance all night with them tonight?”.
A variation of this could be having one half of the crowd call out together, then the other half, then putting it all together for the final question. For example, “Who comes here today to give their blessing to James as he marries this beautiful woman?” could be directed to the side of the aisle that James’s family and friends are on, and vice versa.
To incorporate children or pets, instead of having everyone participate you can have your little ones or your doggo brought forward to give their “approval” with the waving of a favourite object or a bark on queue.
Dog Ring Bearers
Obviously this option isn’t available to all couples, but if you have a pooch that you’d love to incorporate into your day, I cannot recommend this enough (mostly for selfish reasons because I love to see it). Have them up the back of the aisle, or standing with the bridal party if you’d prefer them nearby, and when it’s time for them to bring the rings, the two of you can call them over and take the rings from their collars (you can get small bags that the rings can sit inside on a bit of cushion, or can have them attached via a bit of ribbon, a carabiner, etc). Everyone will LOVE it.
But we don’t want to burden a guest with dog sitting at our wedding! And we’re worried our pup will be stressed out or naughty!
I hear you! Some pets just aren’t meant for weddings. But I can suggest you check out one of the following wedding dog sitting businesses—they will take care of everything for you on the day, including pick up and drop off!
Check out Silly Wagz Bridal Pupz, I Do Paws, The Wedding Sitter, Wedding Tails, or have a look on Google for plenty more local wedding dog sitters.
RITUALS
Thinking of including a ritual in your ceremony, but not sure what? Here’s a few ideas that might strike your fancy. I’ve provided short explanations of each, but I suggest having a little Google if you want to investigate any of them more fully. There’s SO many rituals out there, and nearly all of them can be modified or varied in some way or another. Because they are not legal, they’re fine for anyone to do. Many of them do have roots in particular cultures or religions, though, so if you’d like to honour your family’s culture, a Google would also yield further results for you.
If you’re not feeling particularly drawn to a ritual or reading, I recommend not having one. Really, it’s just if there’s something you’d really like to include, and most people don’t feel the need to include one.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN - if you’re looking to incorporate children into a ritual, look out for the purple writing!
HANDFASTING
There’s plenty of variations of a hand fasting, and this is the origin of the phrase “tying the knot”. The couple may just hold hands, or as they clasp hands, members of their family or bridal party may come up and wind ropes, ribbons or scarves around their arms, to symbolise that they give their blessing and are adding strength to the union.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
While a hand fasting is more commonly done on the couple, you can include children by having them come forward and have their hands tied in with yours too! This is ideal for children over two, who won’t be too alarmed or wriggly when the ribbon/rope is being put around their arm (queue hilarity). You could also use your child’s baby blanket as the material that ties your hands together (queue tears).
SAND POURING CEREMONY
The couple each holds a vessel with different coloured sand, which they take turns to pour into a glass vessel, mixing the two sands together.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
This is a great one to involve children in too - each member of the couple and each child can have their own colour of sand and vessel, and then you all take turns pouring the sands in. You may want to display it somewhere in your home, so you can consider matching the sands to your colour scheme, or the kiddies may have fun choosing their favourite colours.
TIME CAPSULE
The couple places meaningful items from their relationship into a time capsule, or has their guests write down wishes for the couple, and the couple then together closes or nails the time capsule shut.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
Another one that’s really fun and easy to incorporate your children into! Have them prepare something they’d like to add to the time capsule that centres around the marriage or the family, and they get to add it into the capsule.
TEA CEREMONY OR WINE CEREMONY
The couple each has a carafe or glass of wine which they pour into a new carafe, mixing the two wines together, and then drinking from the blending wine. The same can be done with tea or champagne.
FRENCH UMBRELLA TRADITION (FIRST DANCE)
Later on in the evening, you may wish to incorporate this gorgeous tradition where the couple has their first dance beneath an umbrella (a nice umbrella, not your Dollar Shop zebra print one), while their guests through paper streamers over the top of them to offer their congratulations and well wishes. This symbolises that the couple has become one under one roof and will stand together against anything thrown at them. Guests could also throw confetti or roses petals instead of streamers.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
If you have children, get them to join you under the umbrella! They’ll love it, and if your children come from blended families, this symbolises their union under one roof.
WARMING OF THE RINGS
Before the couple exchanges their wedding rings, the rings are passed around amongst their guests, bridal party, or family members, so that each person may “warm” the rings by holding them in their hands and blessing them with their best well wishes for the couple.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
Because this ritual is pretty straightforward and doesn’t involve many props, it can be a super easy way to involve your children in your ceremony. The rings are passed to each of them to cup in their hands to give a blessing or whisper a wish for the family’s future into, before being passed to the couple.
FOOT WASHING RITUAL
The couple take turns washing each other’s feet in a small basin. This can be a beautiful symbol of care and devotion.
LIGHTING OF A CANDLE
The couple each lights a candle and then both light a central “unity” candle as a symbol of their love and hope for their shared future. If your ceremony is being held outdoors, this can be a little tricky/hilarious.
TREE PLANTING CEREMONY
The couple plants a tree or plant either into the ground or a pot as a symbol of their love, and their intention to care for and tend to the tree as their marriage continues.
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
Another super easy one to incorporate your children into. Get them to help plant so that it becomes a family activity, and you could even give each child their own cute little spade with their name tied around it on a ribbon.
SCOTTISH QUAICH, OR LOVING CUP
A Celtic tradition where a cup (traditionally with two handles) is filled with wine or some other drink, and the couple holds one handle each as they take their first drink together as a married pair. A version can also take place where other guests drink from the cup to toast the couple.
FINGERPRINT TREE
This is a fun one that can involve everyone at your wedding! Have a table set up either before the ceremony or somewhere at the reception, and place either a paper, fabric or canvas that features a large tree filled with empty branches, along with either different coloured paints or inks. Invite all of your guests to add their fingerprint to the tree, so that over the course of the day, it fills out into a colourful, healthy tree that’s full of life!
GREAT FOR CHILDREN
You could include your kids in this one by having them start the tree off during the ceremony, or have them be the first to add their prints at some point during the reception while everyone watches.
BLESSING STONES
Each guest is invited to take a stone before the ceremony, and hold it tightly in their hands when the couple exchanges their personal vows, thinking of their blessing and wishes for the couple as they hold it.
A PROMISING START
Right after you and your partner say your vows to each other, you may then wish to turn to your children and say a vow to them too. This could be particularly useful for new stepparents who wish to express their commitment to their new children, but there’s no reason that it can’t work just as well for your own children.
EXCHANGING OF GIFTS
Right after you and your partner exchange rings, you may wish to give gifts to your children as well. This could be a ring, necklace, watch, pin, badge, a coin, medallion, bracelet - whatever! If you have the time, you could even get your kids to design their own “family coat of arms”, and have this printed onto a necklace or pin for the ceremony (or, if your family actually has a coat of arms, go for that!), or you could get a piece of jewellery pre-made that has everyone’s fingerprint on it.
SAND POURING (BUT MAKE IT SUGAR)
Instead of each of you pouring a different colour of sand into one container, each family member can select their favourite lolly, and you all get to mix up a jar of lollies! This can represent how each member of your family has their own unique tastes, likes and dislikes. If the thought of a jar of sand sitting in your house for eternity makes you cringe, this could be a fun solution; the kiddos will be super excited about the candy, and pretty quickly, all of it will be eaten and so it won’t need to be displayed for the next so-many decades. You can make this really sweet (pun not intended) and have the final jar labelled ‘Us’, ‘Our Family’, ‘The Smiths’, etc., and then have a jar with each person’s name on the side. Maybe someone likes red frogs, while someone else loves mint leaves, and someone else loves Jaffas. I just want to keep naming lollies now. Yum…
HARBINGER OF JOY
Super easy, super cute. Have your child walk down the aisle first, with some kind of banner or sign to herald your arrival. “Here comes my Mum. Please stand!” or something along those lines is bound to get your guests smiling big.
OTHER WAYS TO INCORPORATE CHILDREN
CUSTOM RING BOX
If your kids like drawing or painting, you could buy a small, plain paper/cardboard box and have them decorate it for you. The rings can then go into this, so that everyone gets to see their artwork during the ceremony.
FAMILY PAINTING
For any risk-takers out there, do you dare?! Towards the end of the ceremony, have your children come up to join you, and each of you picks up a paintbrush or squeeze bottle with a different coloured paint in it. With a pre-set plain white canvas that now gets brought out, all of you aim and FIRE! To create a family painting to represent your unity, your joy, and who you all are as a whole. If you like, you could even have a love heart or other shape covered out in masking tape on the canvas, so that once the paint dries this shape comes through.
You may want to incorporate art smocks into this one!
FAMILY PUZZLE
Get a puzzle made up ahead of time with each piece corresponding to a name of everyone who will be in your new family. Obviously, the more children, the more pieces, but you could include pets or other close family members to make it bigger. You could even surprise your kids by not telling them about this ahead of time - just let them know that they’ll have a special activity to do during the ceremony so they’re not totally paralysed with fear - and invite them up after you exchange rings so that they can put the puzzle together.
SIGNATURE DRINK
Have your kiddies design a signature cocktail for the wedding reception, which is available to order at the bar, and they can name it, too! You may want to have someone point them in the right direction re: ingredients so that it’s actually drinkable, though… They’ll most definitely want to drink it themselves, so make sure a non-alcoholic version is available for any children or guests who may wish to stay sober!